Relaxer's Recent Statuses
Thu, 9-May-24 7:33 PM
(8 days ago)
I got to wondering whether there is any correlation between the size of a girl's mouth and her downstairs area. Because Anne Hathaway has a very large mouth ..... 😁
Thu, 9-May-24 9:38 AM
(8 days ago)
One (made up) word combines two of my favourite things - choclit 😁
Wed, 8-May-24 5:17 AM
(9 days ago)
I just love women. If that's a crime I plead guilty☺️
Sat, 4-May-24 12:59 PM
(13 days ago)
How was the sacked altar boy meant to know what the bishop meant when he said he could kiss his ring.
Wed, 1-May-24 3:54 PM
(16 days ago)
Gary was devastated when his fiancée broke it off. Even more so when the surgeon said he couldn't sew it back on ☺️
Wed, 17-Apr-24 1:58 PM
(30 days ago)
Cumming - the only type of decorating she is happy for you to put off till later 😜
Wed, 17-Apr-24 5:04 AM
(30 days ago)
If you are edging, when does masturbation become procrastination?
Sun, 14-Apr-24 3:04 PM
(33 days ago)
Feeling like travelling, eating and drinking so Red Bull Square, The Leaning Tower of Pizza and Uncle Big Ben
Sat, 13-Apr-24 12:56 PM
(34 days ago)
Why was the Parisienne man thought crazy? Because he was inseine
Tue, 9-Apr-24 1:03 PM
(38 days ago)
Apparently the original Rapunzel story was in a collection called Lo Cunto de li Cunti.
Mon, 8-Apr-24 9:21 PM
(39 days ago)
rkness- your girlfriend is mooning you
Mon, 8-Apr-24 9:20 PM
(39 days ago)
The room that was bathed in bright sunlight shifts down a shade; darker tones shift across your eyes as you look down the bed; now it's definitely moving towards twilight; finally there is complete da
Mon, 8-Apr-24 5:50 PM
(39 days ago)
How do you see the solar eclipse? Plan it
Mon, 8-Apr-24 3:22 PM
(39 days ago)
Where is the best place in town for grandiose ideas? In the flat above the station. ☺️
Sun, 7-Apr-24 11:40 AM
(40 days ago)
Anyone else at all concerned that electric cars are so quiet they are hard to hear approaching?
Fri, 5-Apr-24 8:56 PM
(42 days ago)
The guy was so off the wall he made Humpty Dumpty look normal.
Fri, 29-Mar-24 2:18 PM
(49 days ago)
I dropped my toddler off at the nursery. When I picked him up later they gave me a bill for 6 damaged plants 🙄
Thu, 28-Mar-24 1:36 PM
(50 days ago)
If you don't use or like email does that mean you are e. stranged?
Sun, 24-Mar-24 9:25 AM
(54 days ago)
The guy had no close friends. He had the bonding skills of a piece of used sellotape😊
Sat, 23-Mar-24 12:10 AM
(56 days ago)
Cyclists are not colour blind. They just don't see red at traffic lights.
Thu, 21-Mar-24 2:08 PM
(57 days ago)
For Sale. Various mirrors. Apply C. Dracula Transylvania 666
Tue, 19-Mar-24 3:24 PM
(59 days ago)
Isn't it amazing how people pay good money for sham poo?😁
Mon, 18-Mar-24 5:07 PM
(60 days ago)
Sometimes I wonder if the only reason a woman would want to sit on my face is so they don't have to look at it 😁
Sat, 16-Mar-24 8:03 AM
(62 days ago)
Dracula was a romantic. He believed in love at first bite.
Sat, 16-Mar-24 5:24 AM
(62 days ago)
My friend has a 12 inch cock, but he doesn't use it as a rule
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