Viewing Member - NotYourPrince
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Sat, 9-May-15 8:54 PM (9 years ago)
The New Testament is about love and the Old Testament is about retribution. The Kamasutra teaches us how to do both.
9 pages are devoted to the care of wives, but 26 pages on how to seduce other men's wives..... Go figure!
(9 years ago)
Sat, 2-May-15 7:05 PM (9 years ago)
Ladies, please consider this: If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after just one date, you probably need breast implants.
Fri, 2-Jan-15 10:28 PM (9 years ago)
They say 65% of statistics are made up and 82% of people believe 'em without doubt. I don't know what you believe but I do know I need a double shot of somethin 90 proof. It's too much to think about.
Fri, 2-Jan-15 10:25 PM (9 years ago)
They say 65% of statistics are made up and 82% of people believe 'em, true or not. I don't know what you believe but I do know I need a double shot of somethin 90 proof, it's too much to think about.
Sat, 27-Dec-14 9:40 PM (9 years ago)
My friend and I were talking about "best sex" and I told him that unexpected sex is a great way to wake up. He deadpanned: "Yeah, if you are not in a prison."
jester_smiles and happyhumper69 like this
Sat, 6-Dec-14 11:24 PM (9 years ago)
I went to do some Christmas shopping. I asked the bookstore clerk where I could find children's books. She asked if the child could read, and I said yes. "Then", she paused, "they all are, sir."
Sat, 29-Nov-14 8:49 PM (9 years ago)
My girlfriend asked who has more fun in sex. "Men. That's why we're always trying to get laid." She said, "Think about this. When your ear itches and you stick your finger in, which feels better?"
thatfeeling likes this
Fri, 21-Nov-14 5:06 PM (9 years ago)
A friend of mine complains constantly about his chronic constipation. I told him it was all in his head; that he was just full of shit.
Sat, 15-Nov-14 9:53 PM (9 years ago)
I used to have an active sex life - my wife and I had sex everywhere in the house. Nowadays, seems like when I get naked in the bathroom, the shower is the only thing that gets turned on.
Sat, 8-Nov-14 9:34 PM (9 years ago)
They say Etymology is old people sport. So be it. Looking up "fundamentalist", I found "fundamentum". The immediate descendant, "fundament", means anus, so I they must all be assholes. Figures.
gozap likes this
Thu, 9-Oct-14 2:00 PM (9 years ago)
I used to try to hide my receding hairline with a rug, but I learned there was hell toupee. Now I just comb over my shortcomings.
Wed, 8-Oct-14 2:03 PM (9 years ago)
After we married, a friend of mine liked to tell tease me that we were a fastidious couple; I was fast and my wife was tedious.
Sat, 4-Oct-14 4:57 PM (9 years ago)
I know a woman who makes her living posing nude for artists; doesn't matter if she knows who they are. I told her she should be more cautious about that - the whole thing sounds pretty sketchy to me.
slinkysuzie likes this
i know a lady that makes a living masturbating on myfreecams just on tips
(9 years ago)
Thu, 2-Oct-14 3:58 PM (9 years ago)
I got home last night to find that some thief had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shampoo and towels. I thought to myself ... well he must be a dirty bastard.
Tue, 30-Sep-14 5:03 PM (9 years ago)
People here always ask, "where's the kinkiest place you've ever had sex?" I'm tempted to tell them it was on an elevator, but that's wrong on so many levels.
Sat, 27-Sep-14 5:28 PM (9 years ago)
If you like vodka like I do, here's a great tip: Try pouring it into your steam iron and doing about three shirts. Wow ... talk about getting pressed.
I hate the strange looks I get when I start sucking on the collars....
(9 years ago)
Fri, 26-Sep-14 5:06 PM (9 years ago)
I was talking to a cartographer friend of mine and asked him what was the purpose of a relief map. I was way off; he said they're used in shopping malls to show you where to find the restrooms.
photocouple2014 likes this
Thu, 25-Sep-14 2:14 PM (9 years ago)
The californication of Colorado continues, radiating from Cherry Creek in Denver. It's filled with Land Rovers and haute couture. I'm not exactly redneck, but I know this town needs an enima.
Wed, 24-Sep-14 2:47 PM (9 years ago)
I love oatmeal raisin cookies. I also love vodka martinis. If you share similar tastes, here's an important safety tip: Dunking oatmeal raisin cookies in a vodka martini results in epic failure.
Thu, 18-Sep-14 8:06 PM (9 years ago)
I think breast and butt implants should come with little embedded squeaky toys. That way, whenever she moves, she's reminded of how comical she is.