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Monday, December 21, 2009, 11:09:11 AM-

An apple, an orange and some monkey nuts.

We wuz poor, but we wuz 'appy and everyone was the same. Apart from the rich gits at number 23. They had an inside toilet with proper toilet paper 'n' shit and a real bath.

Never mind, I used to listen to number one hippy chick while I scrubbed me back in the old tin bath.

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpFudDAYqxY[/url]

Viewers Comments (5):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"aw...that song reminds me of "therapy"...long story" - >---<3--->

Friday, December 18, 2009, 10:31:50 AM-

Celebrity voices are now available on satnav, including the above. I imagine it goes something like this.

Turn left in 100 yards.

Turn left in 50 yards.

Left.

Left!

LEFT!!

LEFT YA FUCKER!!!!

YE FUCKEN MISSED IT YA STUPID BASTARD!!!!!

Viewers Comments (6):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"loved him in Boondock Saints" - >---<3--->

Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 10:45:57 AM- Name that tune

I've had a song going round in my head for days, but I can't remember the title or artist.

It goes something like this.

Da de da de da de doo
Scooby dooby wah wah
La la la loo loo loo
Para-diddle plop

Any ideas?

Viewers Comments (4):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"I know but I aint telling ya. :P" - mont26

Tuesday, December 8, 2009, 10:07:20 AM-

Think I'll write a book of chat up lines based on status updates. There's a consntant supply of good material.

Anyone want my cock?

Hard, uncut and ready to cam

Anyone in Bophuthatswana?

Am hard and horny

Blowjob anyone?

Am hard and horny

Looking for juicy pussy

Bored here, anyone in Uzbekhistan care to chat?

Pee on me now!

Need a good fucking

Suck me dry

Am hard and horny

Gonna let her sneak a look at me precum dripping on my slippers

Tit fuck anyone?

Am hard and horny

It's enough to make a lady swoon and faint clean away, sure you'll agree. Should make a mint.

P.S. Am hard and horny.

Viewers Comments (6):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"I think you missed one. I won't tell you which. :p" - mdguy

Friday, December 4, 2009, 10:26:45 AM- Who do you think you are kitten Mr Kitler?

Mmmmmm....think I'll have Eva Prawn for lunch.

Viewers Comments (7):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Oh that's unfortunate. I wonder if he's Austrian..." - mdguy

Thursday, December 3, 2009, 10:55:44 AM- Oompah! Oompah!

Will perform Rodgers and Hammerstein numbers on a three valve euphonium for sex.

May consider Leonard Bernstein on the piccolo for right person.

Highly sexed members of the Salvation Army welcome.

No time wasters.

Viewers Comments (5):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"But we know you're not one to blow your own horn. :)" - mdguy

Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 10:47:52 AM-

Great voice. The album - Lungs - is excellent.

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK3dGMBgzwU[/url]

Viewers Comments (4):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"Wow. Not bad. I liked it." - mdguy

Monday, November 30, 2009, 10:25:24 AM-

How about a separate emergency number for hoax calls?

Viewers Comments (5):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"and another one for fake hoax calls" - feschkka

Wednesday, November 25, 2009, 11:05:56 AM-

Just posted in Notices and Status Updates.

About to post in the forum.

Viewers Comments (7):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"git" - feschkka

Friday, November 20, 2009, 10:35:42 AM-

Floppy discs are so last century. Enormous hard drives are all the rage these days. Massive ram power at your fingertips. Ready for action in seconds and able to plough through the tightest schedule for hours and hours with the stamina of a bull and unlimited backup to allow extra storage.

Power point presentation anyone?

Viewers Comments (2):	View Comments Tip
Most Recent Comment:	"I need a shower just thinking of your hardware. :) whew" - mdguy