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ukprincey
Seperated / Break up
If you have recently sepearted or broken up with partner how has this left you feeling. Do you want to celebrate your new found freedom and enjoy the single life or do you feel you want to find someone again who you can be happy with?

What is your outlook following your separation or break up?

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Member Since: 30-Apr-05
Location: US
Posts: 18693
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Super Contributor
When my first boyfriend broke my heart, ages ago, I thought I'd never really be happy until I fell in love again. I was right. But it sure took a long time for the right man to come along.


--fantasm



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Member Since: 31-Dec-07
Location: CA
Posts: 30
Forum Level:
Just getting started
Depends on who you broke up with, was it a girlfriend or your soulmate. Often times people fall in love with the idea of being with someone and their mind comes up with justifications for why that person was meant to be. Love is blind.....but better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. grin

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Member Since: 9-Feb-10
Location: AU
Posts: 40
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Just getting started
broken
fantasism is fantastic wish i was her current b/f

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Member Since: 26-Jul-10
Location: GB
Posts: 1305
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A Thinker
When my ex-husband left after 21 years together it totally destroyed me and I vowed that I'd never fall in love again. I give everything to a relationship so I never want to feel that sort of pain again.
To be honest he messed my head up so much that I now believe myself to be unloveable and worthless, even after 5 years of therapy!!

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Member Since: 7-Oct-04
Location: CA
Posts: 396
Forum Level:
Just getting started
I've been through 2 tough breakups, although they are both in my distant past! One was really awful and I was upset for months. The other was a bit of a joint decision- we'd sort of gone back to being friends, so being single then was freeing and wonderful after such a long relationship!

As for now, I've had nothing but casual relationships, and would love to be a relationship again, but I think I've gotten used to that "free" feeling- I'm not sure how I'll do with commitment when it's thrust on me again!!!

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Member Since: 4-Apr-10
Location: CA
Posts: 754
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I Like to Reflect
last time I broke up with someone, it was a guy I had been with for 2.5 years and had lived with for like eighteen months. so that was tough. the biggest thing we argued over was our level of commitment and our future together. I had put so much effort and energy into cohabiting with him and trying to build a life together only to find out he had no intention of marrying me like he had said he would. I also felt like he was dragging me down from my dreams and goals instead of working towards them with me. so once I was single again, the last thing I wanted was to have to be in that situation again.

I ended up spending about a year playing around. for 6-7 months I dated around, tried to meet as many new people as possible, had fun, and ended up having a lot of fun casual/FWB experiences. for about 4-5 months after that, I was totally single and celibate. I moved across the country and just enjoyed travelling and getting used to my new life.



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Member Since: 24-Oct-07
Location: CO
Posts: 14992
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I was in love with one of my ex's who actually started out as my best friend. We managed to take it to the next level and actually date successfully for a while but after a while I really was falling for her and I was ready for a level of commitment that she wasnt.

So we broke up and it destroyed me for a long time she was all I could think about and it took me a long time to get over here. After that I didn't date anyone for a long long time.

I started traveling and finally living life for me and only me and not focusing on her and us and the past. I worked thru my issues and guess what?

On the way home, totally unexpected I met the woman of my dreams and the biggest difference is she wants me just as much as I want her. So love CAN happen even if you have been heart broken! thumbup love

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justmetony2
widow / widower
I did not break up, My wife past away. So to answer your question. I am learning to be single again after 26 years. It's new, it's scary, and if it love was to happen again, it will not be rushed. The single scene now a days is not what it was 26 years ago. Haveing to learn how to be single and to be me.

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1963sexybutt
I got separated less than two months after our wedding date. If marriage was all sex, we would have been married for eternity. It was time spent, extended family issues and finances. We were incredibly incompatible. I miss her on a daily basis but we both know our marriage was a trainwreck. Truthfully I hate having "Separated" as my status. I'd much rather be divorced. Separated gives a girl the idea that I may get back with her. I most definitely am NOT. I am as single as I've ever been. Single but sad.

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Member Since: 30-Apr-05
Location: US
Posts: 18693
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1963sexybutt said: I got separated less than two months after our wedding date. If marriage was all sex, we would have been married for eternity. It was time spent, extended family issues and finances. We were incredibly incompatible. I miss her on a daily basis but we both know our marriage was a trainwreck. Truthfully I hate having "Separated" as my status. I'd much rather be divorced. Separated gives a girl the idea that I may get back with her. I most definitely am NOT. I am as single as I've ever been. Single but sad.
Why haven't you gotten a divorce?

Marriage to my first husband was a big, young, brief mistake.

--fantasm

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Bubbles_1
Break ups
Truth be told, part of me would like nothing better than to take to my bed and cry for weeks and weeks. Part of me wants to move on and find someone new who will make me happy but fear of being hurt again has made me very leary. I'm not sure I can trust anyone again. I'm hoping I can get past those feelings but I'm very unsure if I can. I loved "him" for so long. Not like I've ever loved anyone before. I'm hoping as with most things, time will heal my heart and clear my mind so I can see straight when Mr. Right does come along.

sad

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Member Since: 24-Oct-07
Location: CO
Posts: 14992
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Super Contributor
I truly thought I had found The One this time. I really was happy and thought everything was great. Turns out it wasn't. I am single again. Can't say I am not used too it. I am not really enjoying being single right now, I do miss her. But, what is the point of being in self pity mode all the time? Being depressed and unhappy. Gotta move up and onwards until the next girl. It really is a shame my relationship failed because I was so sure this was the one.... At least I didn't have to go through a divorce.

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Member Since: 5-Apr-07
Location: AU
Posts: 783
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I Like to Reflect
l haven't had to do that for 20 years or more, and l hope l wont have to worry about it again ever, messy shit however you look at it... *lix*

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Member Since: 5-Apr-07
Location: AU
Posts: 783
Forum Level:
I Like to Reflect
l haven't had to do that for 20 years or more, and l hope l wont have to worry about it again ever, messy shit however you look at it... *lix*

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Member Since: 5-Apr-07
Location: AU
Posts: 783
Forum Level:
I Like to Reflect
l haven't had to do that for 20 years or more, and l hope l wont have to worry about it again ever, messy shit however you look at it... *lix*

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sanguineangel
broken hearted and dead inside
i had my heart broken nearly a year ago, by my soul mate, and im still not over it

tbh i have no interest in anything anymore, everything reminds me of her, i still spend every day crying myself to sleep,

i still cannot think of being with anyone else, no other arms make feel like home to me and sex with someone else brings no satisfaction or comfort or pleasure.. (even thou i never got to be phyiscal with my soulmate) it really was a case of when you know you know, i still dont know what happend, tbh


we have not spoken in a week now,

this "pandemic" hasnt helped being in xxxxxxxxxx lock down means even if she wanted to see me she couldnt but i dont think she wants to,

she knows she has hurt me and i think the situation has become some complicated that she might believe she doesnt deserve to be loved by me .. i told her i am still in love with her and i heard her voice break into tears as she she told me not to say it

i have barely left the house or one room ... i dont talk to anyone i have nothing to say

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