I used to have 4 ways with girls 1/3 my age. Now I practically have to BEG and I’m great at cunnilingus!

Hi Hug: Have you thought of calming yourself down with a glass or two of wine?

I have tried some liquid courage.. I just shut down when he wants to try.. I told him not to worry about it.. which makes him a touch sad.

........could it be that you're just not that into him, orgasms aren't much reward for having sex with someone that doesn't excite you.

I actually really do like him. He is far nicer than any of my ex's

try eating different foods during the day?

maybe watch some porn by yourself earlier?

What are things that turn you on when you're alone and self-pleasuring? like maybe when he's eating you out you can rub/caress your tits?

That's assuming you're not afraid of getting hurt by someone. And if that's the case, it's definitely a little different. As some have mentioned liquid courage. Maybe liquid courage compounded with some aphrodisiacs?

How about trying to turn a negative into a positive?

you say you can get yourself there on your own just not with someone watching... how about you take yourself off you the bedroom and get your self settled and started, get yourself all worked up then call him through to assist the final steps... or if you want to tell him silently come watch you from the crack in the crack in the door voyeur style. then he can join in when ready.

if thats not your thing, you said you enjoy the cum spurt but that comes at the end... if he is a decent guy that wont just roll over when done, make him cum first, then get to work on you after so you are the sole focus until he is ready to cum again.

Excellent comments, Thank you!

The not wanting to get hurt again.. is the part I am sure is slowing my progress here..

I read somewhere that I might be watching too much porn.. that can't be true, right?!? Haha.

I understand this. I have had a few partners over my life time that had difficulty attaining full pleasure. Taking way more time with foreplay, is what you need. Using the day to send sexy texts, telling how much you and your partner get turned on, getting excited in anticipation of what is going to happen later. I love giving my partners a warm bath, work on giving up your inhibitions. Getting to the point of your desire to have a release of pent up sexual energy. I love giving oral pleasure. It is what excites me. Once you are laying down, putting only your own pleasure in your mind, and having his tongue make sweet soft circles around your clit until you let go and have fantastic orgasmic pleasure, you will let someone please you. It is so important that you derive pleasure. I know getting your mind clear can be difficult. Make time for yourself to just think about your pleasure.

Thanks.. great advice!

In re-reading your initial post and other comments, if you have trouble cumming in front of someone........

perhaps try some videos? Like record yourself playing with yourself.......do you think that could work? Set a goal with the video too.......like send it to the partner in question. Post it here(I'm sure nobody will complain here, HAHA)

but lots of good advice here for sure!

My wife had 10 partners before me, never had an orgasm in anyone's presence, no matter what assistance they tried to give.
With me she could masturbate and have an orgasms, but just barely.
After 5 years of that (she has MS) she was just unable to have an orgasm ever again.
Her last orgasm was 28 years ago, at age 38.

I didn't have any trouble helping previous ladies have orgasms, and really miss that.
It's been very difficult for me, but she's always been loving.

superman.. that is not bad advice at all.. and maybe i would post it here.. haha

Football.. I thank you for sharing! and hugs for you and your wife!!!

I was going to suggest you pose your question to someone like Ask Amy or Dear Abby, but I think what they would tell you is to consult a psychologist - to go for counseling. If he would go to counseling with you that would be great. But if he won't, you should go alone. I looked at your pictures here. I admit I'd like to try to get you over the edge myself. I'd love to use my tongue and fingers or a toy with you. I'm dreaming of the heavenly scent I'd inhale deeply before tasting you.

And here's a couple of suggestions I don't think you'd get from an advice column Have you tried with a woman? She'll know all the ways a woman can use to take her partner over the edge. Also, how about trying an MFM or an MFF? Maybe you need to have a group working on you. Multiple guys or multiple women touching you everywhere at the same time with no body part off limits. All your erogenous zones being stimulated simultaneously. Get naked, lie down, and have multiple hands stimulating you. Act like a total slut seeking only your own pleasure. Wear a mask over your eyes so you won't be doing anything but feeling. No peeking! No looking at anything! Just Feeling! And if it's several guys, they can all cum on you. Try it! You'll like it!

Good luck.

Let me spend some "quality" time with you and see if I can't get you to orgasm. I LOVE challenges, and a challenge dealing with a HOT woman with a killer body and orgasm, sounds like one I can't pass up. PLEASE let me give it a try. It may take days, so bring Lube, or I have some. I will not let you leave the bed until it is wet with your cum. Lady, it will be a fun time. A lot of laughs and everything sexual, you will enjoy the time, I guarantee. I wasn't circumcised, I wore it off. LOL
I do wish I could give it a try.

Legs.. fantastic suggestions.. I am not a fan of the ladies in that way tho.. Now a MMM.. I cant complain about that.. haha

Sam.. you would save so much money on lube if you just used your mouth.. hehe.. Thanks for the kind words!

Be yourself. So, if masturbating is your go-to then share that fact with him. Get him on board that your needs are your needs. Positions are MANY on being intimate with your partner. You masturbating while he may 👅 you is normal.

Is the any attraction in letting him use toys on you while you watch porn? Some vulnerability at play.
I have trouble orgasming receiving oral from my wife. Less than from someone else, though that has been a very long while since that was an opportunity.
Just curious if you could share your private orgasm inducing situation with him. Letting go by someone else's touch while your mind is awash in another intimacy.
Do restraints hold any lust for you?
Just a thought from pondering this after reading a few days back.

Mr One.. I thank you for your advice!

McPhallus

Is the any attraction in letting him use toys on you while you watch porn? Some vulnerability at play. -

Idk.. That could be an idea.. but the vulnerability part is what I am thinking, after all this advice above.. Is my blocking point..

I am afraid I am going to fall in love with this man.. and be like a lost puppy.. clamoring for more.. I fear that I will get hurt in the end.. and seeing as I dont just give up an O for anyone.. I will have regretted it.

This man is a great guy.. had his own relationship trauma he has had to overcome.. but love is not something we wanted for this ship we have. I still dont want that, on one hand.. because it makes things too messy.. we both want to be mess free for as long as possible.. But there are moments when the idea of letting myself fall for him.. would be great.. Back when it was cool to love someone.. I gave it my all.. I treated my main squeeze like he was a pharaoh.. I am an insatiable lover.. and if you add giving me this long awaited O.. This man is going to find himself tied up in my spare room awaiting my arrival.. ha


Do restraints hold any lust for you? Not for me.. I am not a fan of giving up control

Hi, a few years ago I was seeing a girl from work to start there was lots of sexual tension but an awkwardness of knowing we work together, there was a lot of sexual talk on her side but only ended up in missionary or her riding me, the thing that broke that was her being stripped naked tied to the bed and blindfolded I spent literally hours touching every set of her body several orgasms from oral before sex it was a very tiring night but she let go from that point sex became amazing we would masturbate just for the other person to watch sex was anywhere and everywhere she didn’t care if people were watching I’m sure she actually enjoyed being watched so possibly something similar to your situation

Well first off I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment.. and or message me with helpful tips. It was very kind of you!!

I have been able to figure out over the past however many days it has been.. That me having an O is way more then just having sex and an great orgasm.. I attach Love to it.. and I feel that I would fall madly in love with the man who does give me an O.. seeing as the man I am with now.. FWB.. does not want love at all.. It makes it impossible for me to want to let myself go..

So in a way.. some of you are right.. I don't have the right partner.. And it is not because he is a bad lover.. cause he is not.. I still have a fantastic time.. even without the O.. We will have 7 hour sex sessions where we are so sore the next few days.. but it was worth it! The sexual compatibility is unmatched!

I know.. If I really wanted to shed this Love crap from my O.. I could.. I believe.. that is what I have figured out the most here.. I don't want to!

Maybe my future will hold another man that I am to love.. or the Unicorn I am with now.. will change his mind.. and allow more love to flow between us..

For now tho.. This case is closed.. ha

I am curious.. do I delete this entry? Or leave it up for some reading pleasure.. haha..

Hugs to you all.. I wish you an amazing rest of your day!!

Definitely leave it up for the next person in your situation to find. I've only just seen this so wish that I'd commented earlier. I'd probably just say similar things to everyone else though, essentially: you have to be able to feel a bit vulnerable around a guy to be able to cum (so yeah, love basically).
Relax and try not to focus on it too much, sex still feels nice if you don't cum right.
Maybe try getting yourself really close with your fingers and then fuck him.
Hope you have lots of amazing orgasms and find your unicorn!

Thanks Joe..

big hugs!

lss
ha