Status Updates - Let Everyone Know How You Feel - BNude

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surferjen's Recent Statuses
Fri, 22-Mar-24 6:38 PM (6 days ago)
tip
When someone saw me wearing a particularly lovely new pair of panties, he said, "Wow, Jen, that's a nice twat cover you're wearing there." LOL. Never heard panties called "twat covers" before.
I was told I had a "nice ball hammock" once
(6 days ago)
Some people are very poetic.
(6 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Around here, in bum fucked kansas, we call underwear, gumpers.........
(6 days ago)
Ha! I gotta remember that.
(3 days ago)
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen European Twat carrying a coconut ?
(3 days ago)
Wed, 20-Mar-24 7:09 PM (8 days ago)
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Question for the straight guys: Is it better for you if the woman is already hot/wet when you start the fun or would you rather warm her up yourself? Thanks in advance for replies.
newoutlook and wikdwayz4u like this
Gotta start cold, and warm her engine, before taking her for a spin!
(7 days ago)
surferjen and SashaDoll like this
If she's moist, we've already started.
(7 days ago)
If my missus is already hot & wet when she comes to me then I know that I'm in for a good time (and I'd better not say no!!!)
(7 days ago)
Like warm her! Is funniest
(7 days ago)
I don't mind if your warmed up, just means your turned on which is never a bad thing.... unless your at a funeral
(7 days ago)
Tue, 19-Mar-24 10:19 PM (9 days ago)
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Hey out there. Thanks for all the comments here on my status. I find them interesting and fun. Be safe, stay sexy! Jen.
SpiritWolf68 and tugking70 like this
Your Welcome Jen ... Not sure I commented recently 🐺
(9 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Mon, 18-Mar-24 9:57 PM (10 days ago)
tip
Having a lot of lust for this person, but don't want to actually do it because I'm being silly and think the fantasy will be better than the reality. Darn it!
On the other hand, you'll never know if you don't try!
(10 days ago)
You have to do the reality and if it isn't as good as the fantasy, put the reality down as experience.
(10 days ago)
"You mistook my lust for love didn't you?" Images In Vogue great Canadian band
(10 days ago)
surferjen likes this
I prefer reality, wife prefers fantasy. Go figure 😂😂😂
(9 days ago)
surferjen likes this
You can always get a new fantasy… new realities aren’t quite so easy to come by 😉
(9 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Fri, 8-Mar-24 1:31 PM (20 days ago)
tip
After a couple of hectic weeks at work, time for some outrageously fun sexy time. Should be exciting and pleasurable for all.
Sounds fun .. Maybe some new blog stories .. What you posted in the pass was fun and sexy to read. Enjoy your weekend.
(20 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Sexy fun time .. If it's anything like in your latest story in the forum .. I'd like to read your after thoughts.
(20 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Wed, 21-Feb-24 6:46 PM (36 days ago)
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Random odd comment made to me today: Your pussy would pull the cum right outta my balls. Wow. How does that work? Asking for a friend.
Apparently, a lot of guys don't know how balls actually work.
(36 days ago)
surferjen likes this
She connects her pussy to a Henry aHoovwr.
(36 days ago)
Hoover
(36 days ago)
Tantamount to saying someone's pussy is a cum magnet 🧲? I suppose magnets do work when they are wet.
(35 days ago)
surferjen likes this
My fave today… you’ve got some nice tits … as if some of them are awful 😂 made me laugh!
(35 days ago)
Thu, 8-Feb-24 11:56 PM (49 days ago)
tip
Anyone else having some sexy fun tonight? Not asking for a friend.
Unfortunately not tonight. Soon though!
(49 days ago)
yes yes ❤️
(49 days ago)
Ffmm foursome.
(48 days ago)
smitten4u likes this
Sun, 4-Feb-24 4:12 PM (53 days ago)
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Hope everyone's having a sexy weekend. Word of the day: Penetration. Mmnnf.
tugking70 and SashaDoll like this
So many things to penetrate… so many things to penetrate with… but so little time…🤩
(53 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Mon, 29-Jan-24 4:23 PM (59 days ago)
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After a super sexy weekend, having trouble focusing at work. Oh, my.
That's a good reason to have a case of the Mondays!
(59 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Sat, 27-Jan-24 11:36 PM (61 days ago)
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Posted another story in the erotic stories section of the forum. Hope you like it. Real as it gets smile.
Damn, woman. You have a gift for putting wonderfully hot sex into words. Thank you for sharing that wonderful moment with us.
(60 days ago)
surferjen likes this
I just finished reading another of your great erotic stories on the forum. Such detail and intimacy we all wish was so. Thanks so much for sharing. Looking forward to the next story !!
(59 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Fri, 26-Jan-24 3:57 PM (62 days ago)
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The sexy weekend beginning early. Wow, so lucky to enjoy! Hope you're having fun, too.
Wed, 24-Jan-24 7:51 PM (64 days ago)
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Time for some solo stress relief. Might even be like exercise.
It’s only excercise if you get your heart rate up and you sweat…. Have fun wink
(64 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Sat, 20-Jan-24 5:57 PM (68 days ago)
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Today: Chocolate, espresso, and lots of fuckin. Darn, what a great day and night yet to enjoy.
Chocolate, espresso, and fucking…. 3 of life’s finest treats! 😃 But did you intentionally leave red wine off the list? 🤔🍷
(68 days ago)
surferjen likes this
In that particular order?
(68 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Sounds like still living your best life. Rock on!
(67 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Lucky girl🤗 enjoy
(67 days ago)
McPhallus and LOVEXXXPORN like this
Wed, 17-Jan-24 5:05 PM (71 days ago)
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Had some fun with condoms on and then a lot more fun with them off. Contrast and compare!
misterquidpro, tugking70 and mrjimm like this
Haven't used one in so long I'm not sure I remember how.
(71 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Never used them. We tried it once for fun. Without the cum it’s not the same.
(71 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Love all the pics you posted of it so we can compare.
(71 days ago)
Pete_from_Aus likes this
mmm so hard to judge.......🤷‍♂️🤔
(71 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Sounds like loads of fun
(70 days ago)
McPhallus and surferjen like this
Mon, 15-Jan-24 7:33 PM (73 days ago)
tip
It's time for a hotel orgasm. Hopefully, with someone else. smile
Is that called a room service?😁
(73 days ago)
Looking forward to reading about it later!
(73 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Be sure to take pics 😜
(73 days ago)
hope your hotel is near me. wink
(72 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Tue, 9-Jan-24 10:51 PM (79 days ago)
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Status: Eating chocolate. Drinking whiskey. And fuckin. Great night.
Wow,you certainly do know how to multitask with the best grin
(79 days ago)
surferjen and LOVEXXXPORN like this
I can drink OR fuck. I drink a lot when I can’t fuck, keeps the demon anesthetized. 😂 Chocolate anytime!
(79 days ago)
surferjen likes this
I was trying to give up blow & hookers as a new year's resolution, but now you got me yearning for it..........
(79 days ago)
Had to of been, the thought of chocolate ........
(79 days ago)
Sat, 6-Jan-24 5:00 PM (82 days ago)
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Posted a short story in the Erotic Stories section of the Forum. Hope you like it.
Tue, 2-Jan-24 3:45 PM (86 days ago)
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It's a new year and I'm determined to start it out in a sexy way. I hope I get lucky.
I’ll cross my fingers for you 🤞🏻
(86 days ago)
surferjen likes this
I’m sure that by consciously making a determined effort such an attitude will result in “getting lucky” as you wish
(86 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Sun, 31-Dec-23 5:06 PM (88 days ago)
tip
White panties until later... then.... we'll see. Def feeling New Year's Eve fun vibe.
LOVEXXXPORN likes this
Fri, 29-Dec-23 5:56 PM (90 days ago)
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Black panties today. Feeling naughty.
Sat, 23-Dec-23 2:48 PM (96 days ago)
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I don't have to see the wet spot down there. I can feel it. Yes, I want it.
Thu, 21-Dec-23 4:12 PM (98 days ago)
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White panties today. Feeling frisky.
Very, very damn sexy. Hi, Jen
(98 days ago)
I'm in red hawaiian style print boxers
(98 days ago)
You big tease.
(98 days ago)
No underwear here
(98 days ago)
Nice!! I’m a fan of jeans, no panties and a white tank top
(98 days ago)
Wed, 13-Dec-23 11:23 PM (106 days ago)
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Thinking about writing a stream of consciousness piece with super sexy content about an erotic lifestyle. Thinking...
misterquidpro likes this
Interesting. Would it be based, to any extent, on experience or complete fantasy?
(106 days ago)
Mon, 11-Dec-23 8:25 PM (108 days ago)
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Status: Stoopid Horny and a Little Embarrassed. There’s a tech contractor updating things in my office, about 15 years younger than me. I’m so lusty I can’t stand it.
Now you know how guys feel around younger women.
(108 days ago)
It means he’s young enough to give you a good seeing to, more than once. Go for it!
(108 days ago)
surferjen likes this
Thu, 7-Dec-23 6:31 PM (112 days ago)
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Status: Curious. This term "load." It makes me giggle. I know what it means, but why call it that? Not asking for a friend.
Mr_Vein and misterquidpro like this
Definitely sounds like something a dude started. Probably thinking it sounded “tough” or “manly
(112 days ago)
Maybe short for payload.. as in delivering it?? Who knows , Def kind of silly
(112 days ago)
Payload seems logical. It is cringy though.
(112 days ago)
Bbaggins4321 likes this
I like the term 'bunch' better. wink
(112 days ago)
instead of the word 'climax', I prefer to say 'zenith'
(112 days ago)
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