oldozzieguy's Recent Statuses
Tue, 4-Aug-20 1:54 PM
(3 years ago)
According to our governments definition as of last Sunday I am now officially a senoir citizen, so if I say or do something stupid - it was old age
Tue, 5-May-20 12:38 PM
(3 years ago)
Many moons ago when I was just a lad there was no such thing as the internet, So people had to walk miles to call me a c**t.
Sat, 14-Mar-20 12:08 PM
(4 years ago)
<<< Is NOT looking forward to Monday, have to go have not one but two CT guided injections into my lumber spine.
Thu, 13-Feb-20 1:07 PM
(4 years ago)
The only sex we have nowdays is oral sex, We talk about doing it regularly.
Tue, 4-Feb-20 2:21 PM
(4 years ago)
Dr: How did you sleep last night? ME: Like a baby. Dr: so you had a good sleep? Me: No, I curled up in the featal position, sucked my thumb, pooped my self and cried all night"
Tue, 21-Jan-20 1:49 PM
(4 years ago)
I just got my pecker caught in my zip. Man it hurt so no more zip up boots for me.
Mon, 13-Jan-20 11:52 AM
(4 years ago)
She walked in and sat down beside me, "Hi, My names Carmen because I like Cars and men, what's yours" Me: "Beerpussy"
Sat, 16-Nov-19 11:40 PM
(4 years ago)
"I will never get on a talking scale again, The last one said "One person at a time please"
Fri, 11-Oct-19 12:28 PM
(4 years ago)
WOO Hoo, It's raining here for the first time in nine months. We certainly need it and more.
Thu, 18-Apr-19 1:23 PM
(5 years ago)
After 46 years of being a heavy smoker I am now 5 weeks smoke free.
Alan4uLadies,
GottaBeMe,
clittylicker,
Mr_Vein,
irish25 and 9 others, Allure, maraff, ThePadrino, captain_82, NaughtyKat, steelrat60, Onionheart, shyguy307 and nosanity like this
Thu, 28-Mar-19 12:38 PM
(5 years ago)
Dad, whats a clitoris? Me. You should have asked me that last night son, I had the answer right on the tip of my tongue.
Wed, 13-Mar-19 12:36 AM
(5 years ago)
Talk about warm, it's supposed to be autulm here but still 41.1 deg C or 106 deg F.
Thu, 14-Feb-19 2:47 PM
(5 years ago)
It was Valentines day yesturday and I got lucky.................... I found a dollar
Thu, 31-Jan-19 3:51 AM
(5 years ago)
It seems that most here are in the frozen zone. It's been 38 to 40 dec C here. would pass a little heat your way if I could.
Mon, 14-Jan-19 5:49 PM
(5 years ago)
after ten years of Celibacy I'm claiming my virginity back.
Mon, 31-Dec-18 3:09 PM
(5 years ago)
Before I get drunk, loose my phone and get arrested I want to wish all the NN pervs and pervettes a very happy new year.
Mon, 31-Dec-18 7:41 AM
(5 years ago)
My new years resolution is to stop using spray on deodarant, Roll on 2019.
Mon, 17-Dec-18 2:31 PM
(5 years ago)
< rolls into the NN bar like a tumbleweed and heads right for the dark corner in back.
Mon, 17-Dec-18 1:15 AM
(5 years ago)
Dr said I need to get in shape, He's a Dr, He's a smart man, but forgot that round is a shape.
Mon, 26-Nov-18 2:02 PM
(5 years ago)
Summer on it's way, weather warming up, Time to organise a camping trip.
Tue, 13-Nov-18 4:25 PM
(5 years ago)
I have never jumped out of an aeroplane without a parachute, I wanted to leave some things on my bucket list.
Sat, 13-Oct-18 4:27 PM
(5 years ago)
Mate: Do you ever play any dangerous sports? Me: Yeah, sometimes I disagree with my wife.
Thu, 11-Oct-18 3:47 PM
(5 years ago)
My wife and I have doggie sex every night, I sit at the foot of the bed panting and begging while she rolls over and plays dead.
Mon, 8-Oct-18 2:45 PM
(5 years ago)
Took car to aircon mechanic, he says it needs new compressor, new condenser and new hoses, Cost $1.300.00. Went to another for 2nd opinion. Compressor ok, condenser ok.
Mon, 27-Aug-18 1:57 PM
(5 years ago)
Son - Dad what's it like to have the best son in the whole world? Father- I'm not sure son, ask your granddad.
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