hornyfukcer's Recent Statuses
Fri, 15-Mar-24 5:53 PM
(13 days ago)
Had a good day at the office with his unofficial secretary.
Sun, 10-Mar-24 10:09 AM
(19 days ago)
Who wants a bacon sandwich and a brew?
Fri, 8-Mar-24 7:58 PM
(20 days ago)
Sips his tea very slowly and says hey.
Wed, 6-Mar-24 7:53 PM
(22 days ago)
Urgh its doing that thing on my status feed where you can comment then you cant.
Mon, 4-Mar-24 5:55 PM
(24 days ago)
Wonders if the Monday blues have passed.
Mon, 19-Feb-24 5:38 PM
(38 days ago)
Urgh Mondays!! Thankfully I have a long weekend to look forward to.
Sun, 18-Feb-24 10:01 AM
(40 days ago)
Saturday was one of my best ever weekend days. One to remember. Feeling good. How are the rest of you lovely people getting on?
Wed, 7-Feb-24 6:05 PM
(50 days ago)
My smartwatch says that when my girl kisses me my pulse goes from 67 to 107!
Thu, 18-Jan-24 6:41 PM
(70 days ago)
My girl has just asked if I would like to see her drawers and she replied with pics of semi assembled flat pack furniture. Such is my life.
Tue, 26-Dec-23 8:17 AM
(94 days ago)
Grabs clipboard. Starts a hangover roll call.
Mon, 18-Dec-23 5:10 PM
(101 days ago)
Lures people in with cake, beverages and semi nakedness.
Wed, 6-Dec-23 12:50 PM
(113 days ago)
Apparantly Im late to the party, what did I miss?
Sun, 3-Dec-23 2:46 PM
(116 days ago)
When she treats you to monster munch, sex and pies....👀
Sat, 31-Jul-21 9:20 PM
(2 years ago)
Been a while, how is everyone?
Tue, 10-Mar-20 7:30 PM
(4 years ago)
If two people are on a see-saw and they are horizontally balanced - Is that a perfect moment?
Thu, 20-Jun-19 6:27 PM
(4 years ago)
I’ve decided to stop masturbating, since then I’ve not really felt myself.
Sun, 12-May-19 9:21 AM
(4 years ago)
I asked for a lovely chick. I got nesting starlings in my roof. Not what I expected.
Sun, 3-Mar-19 10:43 AM
(5 years ago)
I ask my girlfriend to sexualy stimulate me with her key ring, but she just keeps fobbing me off.
Sun, 3-Feb-19 11:44 AM
(5 years ago)
Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star, If I could get out of this place
Mon, 28-Jan-19 2:25 PM
(5 years ago)
I'd sit alone and watch your light, my only friend through teenage nights....
Thu, 13-Dec-18 10:41 AM
(5 years ago)
Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while.
Fri, 30-Nov-18 11:43 AM
(5 years ago)
Im confused, own up whoever did it
Thu, 4-Oct-18 1:23 PM
(5 years ago)
Dont mind me, Im just slow dancing with Shaqila.
Tue, 25-Sep-18 8:45 AM
(5 years ago)
There ain't no doubt in no ones mind that loves the finest thing around, whisper something soft and kind.
Wed, 19-Sep-18 2:08 PM
(5 years ago)
What are your favourite quirky tunes?... the ones you like...but probably shouldnt.
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