PiscesLoverVT's Recent Statuses
Sun, 21-Apr-24 1:47 AM
(2 days ago)
Headed to Antigua, see you all in a week
Tue, 26-Mar-24 12:03 AM
(28 days ago)
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.
Thu, 14-Mar-24 1:52 PM
(39 days ago)
Happy Pi (pie) day
Mon, 2-May-22 1:47 PM
(1 year ago)
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, only if you want to do it twice.
Wed, 9-Mar-22 4:01 PM
(2 years ago)
I can see that you have lonely lips, so I would like them to meet mine
Tue, 15-Feb-22 3:14 PM
(2 years ago)
My therapist told me I need to take the time to find myself. Took me all of 5 minutes. There was a mirror in the bathroom. Who's the smart one now Doc?
Mon, 14-Feb-22 2:36 PM
(2 years ago)
Figured out why woman love serial killer documentaries so much. They’re about men who are dedicated, they have a plan, and are full of surprises.
Thu, 6-Jan-22 2:24 PM
(2 years ago)
Do you believe in the “here after?” Then you know what I’m here after.
Wed, 29-Sep-21 1:21 PM
(2 years ago)
Roses are red, violets are blue, I use my hand when I think about you
Mon, 26-Jul-21 1:10 PM
(2 years ago)
Well it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now.
Sun, 24-Jan-21 4:50 PM
(3 years ago)
Elevator music bothers me on many levels
Fri, 22-Jan-21 9:03 PM
(3 years ago)
Out of all my body parts, my eyeballs are in the best shape because I roll them like 300 times a day...
Tue, 10-Nov-20 6:46 PM
(3 years ago)
My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.
Tue, 13-Oct-20 2:15 PM
(3 years ago)
My gardening skills improved since the quarantine. I planted myself on the sofa in April and have grown bigger ever since...
Tue, 6-Oct-20 2:28 PM
(3 years ago)
Was at a pumpkin farm over the weekend that has 800 activities for kids & zero alcohol for parents. 2020 hell continues!?
Fri, 2-Oct-20 5:14 PM
(3 years ago)
I just spilled my protein shake all over myself and all I’m saying is a donut would never do this to me.
Thu, 1-Oct-20 11:44 AM
(3 years ago)
Good morning. May your coffee kick in before reality does.
Wed, 30-Sep-20 2:44 PM
(3 years ago)
Anyone else rip their mask off when they get in to the car like they’ve just finished a disappointing surgery on Grey’s Anatomy?
Tue, 29-Sep-20 3:11 PM
(3 years ago)
I got carded at the liquor store last night. While getting my ID out, my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
Mon, 28-Sep-20 1:07 PM
(3 years ago)
I'm not buying a 2021 calendar until I see the trailer. Not gonna get me again!
Fri, 25-Sep-20 2:12 PM
(3 years ago)
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
Thu, 24-Sep-20 12:59 PM
(3 years ago)
You can say "Have a nice day!" with no problem but you can't say "Enjoy the next 24 hours." without sounding mildly threatening.
Wed, 23-Sep-20 1:42 PM
(3 years ago)
my son is staying home for his first semester of college so i’m gonna puke in his shower and set off the fire alarm at 3am so he can get the true freshman year dorm experience
Fri, 18-Sep-20 3:55 PM
(3 years ago)
My girlfriend wants to make a cauliflower pizza crust so now I have to run to the grocery store and find a new girlfriend...
Fri, 20-Jul-18 1:49 AM
(5 years ago)
I just apologized to a chair for walking into it. Let's focus on my manners before you judge my sobriety
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