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Thursday, November 25, 2021, 11:10:39 AM- The new beau - red flags or biased jealous ex?
So we have sort of talked since on and off (more off) by the way when i said i was nice about it when she said she needed time I did ask questions and did say we can get through this and all that, i didnt just say "oh uh ok then" or anything lol.

She decided to talk about this new boyfriend who in the space of 10 days had become the love of her life, she'd never felt anything like the way she feels about him (she said these things t me by the way)

So this is what she's told me about him.....he's ex military and a sniper in the British Army. Hes old school but not in a controlling way. He made his money through real estate and at one point owned 600 houses. (so he's loaded apparently). He's goes round and gives her money (£150 here, £100 there) as she's not got a lot. He's said she should reduce her working hours as she shouldn't be working 12 hour shifts. Hes promised to buy her a car (Range Rover) in January. Said that he's going to see a mate of his who is still in real estate to look at a 4 bed house and put it in HER name. He's taken her to a posh Italian restaurant (ok perhaps we could all do that once) Apparently he ended up in hospital with a suspected blood clot one night but didn't want her to come over as he didn't want her driving at night.

Apparently he talked about marriage next November and the proposal is going to be something special, has met her daughter. Said to her daughter that he's never felt like this for anyone before. And he's moving in to her 2 bed flat in January.

All this in 2 weeks of knowing her! (they met on tiktok)

Now to me there's red flags there but am I just being the jilted boyfriend and seeing things that arent there? it seems to me classic love bombing but I may be wrong. Knowing the shit she has been through with previous exes (I was hoping to break the cycle) I know about her state of mind when it comes to this sort of thing and I know she will be devastated if my suspicions are correct as I think she fell hook line and sinker for him.

Questions I would ask if it wasn't me asking her would be.....

What rank in the army and what regiment.
Are you sure he's a sniper because they're not meant to say they are (as far as I know)
If he's loaded why is he moving in with you and not the other way round if he owns so many houses
Have you been to his place? (not as far as I know)
So you don't see him all the time, what does he do when he's not with you
What's his job now?

Can you think of any others questions?

I dont know something doesnt seem right to me, it may well be all above board and totally fine but I know I'll be the one that will pick up the phone to a crying woman if this goes tits up, what do you guys reckon?
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Most Recent Comment:
"Sounds pure bull shit in ex military too and on what they pay there is no way i could afford 2 houses let alone 600"
- gender21


Thursday, November 25, 2021, 10:04:39 AM- Not the person I thought she was? - or karma kicking my ass
OK so I've never done one of these before but my experience of the past year had made me think I need to put this down and perhaps get a female perspective on this if any read it.

So I'm unhappily married (which is why I'm on here!) and I reconnected with a woman that I knew when she lived local to me, she since moved to the south coast. I didn't know her that well more like acquaintances than anything. I was friends with her on FB, Insta and Twitter. Once day i noticed a rather revealing photo of her that she posted on Instagram, this made me scroll through and look at previous posts, I found there were a lot of risque and revealing pics. I thought to myself, this girl is naughty! as well as being very attractive to me, I did fancy her but obviously did nothing about it. So I took a bit of leap and messaged her, we chatted and i said "may i say i think your boobs look incredible" I thought this would be met with immediate "erm not appropriate" but instead she said "haha yes you absolutely may"

So the chat got more and more intimate, she said she'd always fancied me but because I was married she did nothing about it which was quite a revelation for me. So things got naughty we exchanged pics, videos, naughty chat etc it was more a distraction than anything else from our daily lives.

Then she met someone and things stopped, she did say I can't be naughty because I'm now with this guy, he's great and i don't want to ruin things with him. So for the best part of 18 months, there was little or no contact.

Fast forward early 2021 she posted on Twitter a rather naughty pic and I thought is everything ok here? so I messaged her on there saying hi how are I love the pic etc and she said that she was not happy with her boyfriend for a number of reasons but maintaining boundaries I said well we can chat and i can be your sounding board etc etc. It was like that for a while but things quickly got naughty again and we found ourselves chatting everyday usually on and then, the feelings started.

We talked about how its great that we are friends obviously "naughty" friends lol but friends none the less and then I said that I think I feel more than friendship towards you thinking this would scare her to death. She also said the same things to my surprise and great relief. Things quickly escalated we mentioned the "L" word after a couple of weeks, she asked what the deal was with me and my wife and I replied saying " we are not happy, we are merely existing and it won't last forever" she replied "I can work with that"

So a plan was set in motion that in 18-24 months I would have left my marriage and moved down to live with her, This was probably around spring time. Feelings got more and more intense we said we had fallen in love etc and had kind of a monthly talk about where we are and if we were still on the same page with regards to moving down south. Each time she seemed to bring the timeline forward. We have met a couple of times too the last time was 21st October, at this time the timeframe was actually next summer.

Everything seemed to be moving forward as we wanted our feelings seemed as strong as ever, we had another talk on the 3rd November where it was again moved forward to next Easter! so there was no reason for me to think there was any doubt that this was happening.

11th November, now we talked on the phone everyday usually multiple times and texted throughout the day. so I get in my car to go to work and as usual give her a ring.....no answer, this was unusual as she would always answer even if it woke her up (which she was fine with) but I thought well she's not well so benefit of the doubt and all that. Tried again an hour later (it's a long drive to work!) and again no answer. Got a text a few hours later saying she sorry she wasn't well and I said no worries I'll call when i leave work.....no reply to that. I texted her later in the day saying how are you and again no reply. So I leave work and again give her a call, no reply. I leave it another hour or so and tried again...no reply. Don't forget we did this everyday up to this day. No reply to texts in the evening either.

12th November, set off for my other job, and call her as i leave....no answer, at this point i was getting worried as it was the longest we'd gone without talking since we actually started calling each other. So when I arrived I called and left a voicemail saying I hope you're ok please just drop me a message to say you're alright. No reply. I send a few texts, got no reply.
That evening I got a text saying, sorry I haven't been well but I need time to think about things, meaning us. I was absolutely mortified.

So I go out and call her to try and sort this out, she said that her not feeling well has messed with her head and made her think about things and she needs time, she then said first and foremost we are friends and I'm splitting up a family and thats not me (she knew that from the start and was ok with it) I was nice about it and said well don't leave me hanging and left it at that.

I couldn't leave it alone so i was messaging without reply of course because I was totally bewildered that in the space of 8 days we'd gone from moving in together next year to nothing. Anyway the following Tuesday I messaged and said "can we talk" as I my head was mashed and that was when she dropped the biggest bombshell on me, no she wasn't pregnant......She'd met someone else. Felt like I'd been kicked in the teeth to be honest. She proceeded to tell that I didn't just lose out to just anybody and it wasn't anything I'd done or not done etc (none of this helped of course) then telling me how amazing this person was, I was trying to be understanding and forgiving as I wanted her to be in my life in one way or another (I know you're probably thinking WHAT?!)

So the call ended, I was devasted (still am) but I know I'm married so perhaps I deserved it. I just felt that the whole of 2021 was a complete waste of time and emotion and energy.

I will add a blog about her new beau as I felt there were red flags in what she was saying about him but I may be biased as the "jilted boyfriend"
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